Mean Joe Green

I am thankful that people love me, despite my short comings . I get irritated fast, I am emotional, and I am immature when It comes to those I love. I acknowledge these things about myself. I’m working on figuring out why I do the things I do, and how I can hold on to some of this life. I have a family member that is ill.

He was ill when I started this on the 5th of September. Little did I know that I would get the call the very next day that he was unresponsive, and being supported. I was on my way to work, and my phone rang. It was my sister telling me that Walter, my dad, was having cardiac issues. I drove passed work and straight to the Cornerstone hospital at 4207 Burnet Rd. I was the first one there. Walter was lying there with a mask on his face breathing for him. The nurse told me that he could still hear me. I talked to him, and let him know I was there. Then Donna and Miss Rose showed up, and then Lucas and his mom Laura. Then my mom and Blanca. I got there at 8AM, and by 12:45 he was gone..

James and I had just been to see him on Sunday. We went up to the hospital, Walter was in the bed with his teeth on his belly, and his glasses on his night stand, and his right arm bent behind his head. We said hello, and he was happy to see us. I tried to get him to eat. He told me that Lucas had been feeding him as he flashed his big brown eyes at me. Good I told him, you need to eat.  A young lady walked in and wanted to ask him what he wanted for lunch the next day. He looked at her and said “can we wait a little bit? Betty isn’t here yet, and I dont know what she will want to eat. ” The lady nodded and walked out. “God Bless you.” Walter said to her as she left the room. James talked to him teased him that there were “dancing girls out in the hall”. Walter replied that he had not seen them .

He asked where his glasses were, so I put them on him. “there HE IS !” James and I both exclaimed. He was happy to be able to see. He seemed tired, and nodded off a few times. He told me he loved me, and even as he was struggling to breath he would say “praise God”. I cried. He said something that I didn’t catch but James heard. James asked did you hear what he said? I said no, what? He said “If I fall asleep before y’all leave it was good for me to see you.” Right before we left I told him Walter, we are going to go, but I’m going to pray for you before we go ok. I did, I gave him a kiss, and he apologized for his mouth, and lips being dry. I took his glasses off and put his teeth away for him, we went home.

The next day I went up again this time by myself. When I got there Betty and Barbara were there, Sabra, and Lisa, and my mom. Walter was restrained , they had just put a feeding tube in his nose. They were taking X-rays to see if the tube was in the right spot, it wasnt. They were going to push it in more, and then take another x-ray to see if they had gotten it right yet. They never started the “nutrition”. The next day was the day he would pass away.

People from the church came, and sang to Walter. I told him thank you for loving us and showing us how Jesus would love us. His Oxygen was dropping, and it came time to take off the support. We sang amazing grace, and Walter was birthed into the presence of our Lord. I cried out No! as he was going away, I told him that we were all there with him. It reminded me of Big Fish. Walter knew all kinds of obscure, interesting things. He was a character. He glorified God, and God healed him time and time again.

He was an amazing man, and the world seems different to me now that he is gone. Everything has changed.

I have been extremely sad. I have cried everyday. Today, 4 days later I feel stronger, and more encouraged. I am thankful that I had a man like Walter to love me and my mom. To be my dad. We like any family had our ups and downs, our good times and our bad times. Walter always forgave me and welcomed me with open arms every time he saw me. I honestly believe that if it wasn’t for the love of Walter Swanner I wouldn’t be in the amazing beautiful loving relationship I am in today. I am grateful to have had such a wonderful man as part of my family.

Hello, you’ve reached the Swanner residence please leave a message, and God Bless you.

That is the out going message on the answering machine. When people would hang up before the ” God Bless You” When we were screening calls. Walter would look at me and say “I guess they didn’t want the blessing”.

Walter wasn’t going to let you leave his presence with out being blessed.

A new command I give to you. Love one another as I have loved you… by this all men will know you are my disciples if you love one another. John 13:34